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The day I realised I was masking my own pain
to make everyone else feel comfortable,
was when I woke up.
And everyday since then I’ve been exhausted.
And it’s a good kind of tired.
It’s a tired that I’m finally acknowledging and accepting.
It’s a tired when everything’s going right
and should even feel right
and I’m surrounded by the best my life has been in years
But still I lay in bed, willing tears to disappear,
willing fears to go away,
willing myself to simply stay.
And believing it when my therapist tells me, it’ll be okay.
There’s colours around me but they feel lifeless.
Like life could just as well be monochrome,
I can’t feel in reds or blues, or see shades and tones.
So I do what I can, to get through the day,
and tomorrow again,
I will learn to find a light in the pain,
even if that means spotting a tiny spark in an ever dark tunnel.
It will keep me afloat until I have the energy again,
to move with the waves.
For today, I place my faith in that trusty old phrase, “Everything will be okay.”
- Faye D'Cruz
Vanora Vaz is an illustrator, a musician, and a former reluctant architect.
All of the above, with a penchant for storytelling and facilitating change through art and music.
Through her illustrations, she focuses on creating colourful work showcasing mental health issues and interpersonal relationships. Vanora believes that Art has the power to start powerful conversations!
This is a gallery-quality giclée art print on 100% cotton rag archival paper, printed with archival inks. Each art print is listed by sheet size and features a minimum one-inch border.